Come & Catch Them

Once upon a time in Cuba, 2 rival groups (an evil one called “The Quadruple Quartet” and a good one called “The Fast Heroes”) were competing in a chess-game. The Fast Heroes ended up winning, which enraged The Quadruple Quartet to the extent that it literally stomped back to its Para-mover and drove back to its hideout to discuss ideas for a new scheme. “Well, that scheme did not work, so now we have to devise a new one. Does anyone have any ideas?” asked Tankton. “Well, I do not have an idea, but I do have a question: why do we not just write ideas for schemes and put them in a filing cabinet or something like that instead of going through the monotonous routine of discussing ideas for them?” said Frederick, raising his hand. To put the rest of it shortly, everyone else agreed and it was so; in fact, they even organized and named them alphabetically {for example, Plan A, Plan B, Plan C, so on and so forth}. The Quadruple Quartet’s first scheme, namely Plan A, consisted of teaming up with Blackworm, a Weird Townsperson wizard, so that he could help the aforementioned group to rob all of Cuba by robbing a magical gem (which was protected by an enchanted case that could only be opened by wizards and witches) for it in exchange for 598 rillers. “I knoweth not whether or not I shouldst accepteth thy deal…yet, 598 rillers is a very good deal. Well…alright, I accepteth.” said Blackworm thoughtfully upon hearing of the deal (he spoke in Old English because…well, he is a wizard). So, after Blackworm stole the magical gem, The Quadruple Quartet paid the wizard and retreated to its hideout, where it found that The Fast Heroes (which, by the way, consisted of Beaker, Hairball, and Speeder McZoom, the leader of the group) were already there, waiting for its return. “Hello.” said Speeder McZoom. “Curses! I was just starting to have a good day in your absence!” said Ben D. Straw in his usual, squawky voice, stomping his foot. “Sorry; we cannot please everybody.” said Beaker, shrugging. “I was going to initiate this forcible robbery earlier, but, thanks to your unexpected appearance, I shall start it now. Kazamica!” said Stanley Poptart, setting the magical gem down on the floor. As soon as he said the incantation, several multicolored sparks emitted from the aforementioned valuable of magic and soared towards all of the Cubans (with the exceptions of The Quadruple Quartet and The Fast Heroes, of course), who were thereupon enslaved and started bringing their valuables to The Quadruple Quartet’s hideout. Due to a fact that is to be indicated shortly hereafter, the Quirky Men, a group of quirky men (of course), were unaffected by the magical gem’s sparks. “Do you think that we ought to just pretend to be enslaved for the sake of playing along?” inquired Bill Temper (the leader of the Quirky Men), looking around at the enslaved Cubans. “Why not? You know what they say, ‘If everyone else is enslaved, then play along or just be craved.’” said Jack. “Are you quoting your own sister?” asked Mr. Half-Bald, slightly taken aback. “Yes. Why?” said Jack, looking unsurprised. Meanwhile at The Quadruple Quartet’s hideout, the enslaved Cubans were cornering The Fast Heroes, having brought a large pile of valuables to their new masters. “Why are we not enslaved?” inquired Hairball, who was trying to climb up the curtains of a window to avoid the enslaved Cubans. “Frederick gave fancy scarves that Blackworm had enchanted to attract the magical gem’s magic to all of the Cubans.” replied Ben D. Straw, who was dusting a golden cup at the time. “I would have given one to you, but, frankly, you annoy me.” added Frederick, who was making snow-angels with the pile of treasure. “Admittedly, I am surprised that the heroes have not already escaped.” whispered Jack to Mr. Half-Bald and Bill Temper at the back of the crowd of enslaved Cubans cornering The Fast Heroes. “Well, you cannot put their hopes down too far, you know.” Bill Temper whispered back. “Who said that?” said Tankton, who was sitting relaxingly in a throne that an aristocrat had brought. He looked around for the source of the noise for awhile before shrugging and saying decidedly, “Eh, it was probably just my imagination.” “Decidedly, we are doomed!” said Beaker, having given up trying to get away from the path of the approaching enslaved Cubans. Speeder McZoom nodded, saluted, and put his hand over his heart in a solemn (yet heroic) manner. “I am here to save the d--” said a red-haired, bespectacled aristocrat named “Fog-Light Tailgate” as he swung along a zip-line and straight into the living-room window. Everyone in The Quadruple Quartet’s hideout, including the enslaved Cubans, looked at him. Feeling slightly dazed, he slid down the window and opened it. “There is a door right there, you know.” said Tankton, pointing to the door. “Sorry; I thought that it would be more heroic and dramatic if I came in through the window.” said Fog-Light Tailgate, shrugging. “What are you here for?” inquired Stanley Poptart. “I have come to save The Fast Heroes, hence the reason why I endeavored to make such a dramatic entrance into your hideout.” replied Fog-Light Tailgate matter-of-factly, putting his hands on his hips in a heroic manner. “In which case, get him, minions.” said Tankton, clapping his hands. Turning away from The Fast Heroes, the enslaved Cubans started cornering Fog-Light Tailgate instead. Before they could completely corner him, however, the aristocratic redhead started dancing into the crowd of enslaved Cubans, taking their enchanted scarves off as he went. “His ‘heroic plan’ contains dancing!?” said Ben D. Straw incredulously. “He may have the same hair color as me, but he is a complete tomfool.” said Frederick, shaking his head in disbelief. Soon, all of the Cubans were freed and had confusedly walked out of The Quadruple Quartet’s hideout. “I would say something, but I do not want to be repetitive.” said Tankton wearily. “A getaway would be a legitimate replacement.” said Stanley Poptart. So, The Quadruple Quartet grabbed onto a propeller attached to a pole and started to fly away. However, The Fast Heroes threw oranges at it, thereby causing the group to land in a holding-cell. The aftermath happened like this: Fog-Light Tailgate received a medal for his heroics, The Fast Heroes met a hippie (do not try this at home, children), and the Quirky Men were too busy talking about this aftermath to notice that someone was cutting them in line at the grocery-store.